Meeting of the Ireland Holiday Club - 30th August 2003

Venue: In the bed, sitting on Mr Bear (except Mrs Bear...)

Present: Winston, Darwin, Bisto, Mrs Bear, Mr Bear

Mrs Bear was elected club secretary in the absence of any other volunteers.

1. Minutes of last meeting would have been agreed if there were any...

2. Ireland outfits: Progress reports:

• Bisto’s stripey Ireland scarf now finished although Mrs Bear would like it minuted never to do that again!
• The Tam O Shanters idea had to be shelved. But Mrs Bear crocheted Darwin a green beret. Winston is now campaigning for the same.  It was agreed that Mrs Bear would make one just to keep him quiet as he had suddenly developed a personality...

3..  Consensus on Irish bungalow.:

Darwin: Not at all up to his usual standard but he would show his good breeding by putting up with it with only a slight air of resignation.

Bisto: He didn’t care as long as he could wear his new scarf.

Winston: Said it was wonderful. He’s never been ANYWHERE before so this is great.

4. AOB

• Darwin notes that despite 12 hours in Ireland Mrs Bear has not yet knitted him a stripey top in Ireland colours. Mrs Bear said that was taking the biscuit and he should be more grateful. Darwin replied that it wasn’t his fault, he was a Professor and used to prompt service.

• The bears had been in conflagration and decided that Guinness should be served Sunday night with dinner. They remain hopeful..    Mrs Bear said: “we would see”...

Minutes of Holiday Club - 31st August 03

1. Minutes of the previous meeting: Agreed. However Bisto wished to raise his objection that the aforementioned Guinness in AOB had not been served Sunday night as requested. He said he was suspicious that said Guinness might have been sneakily drunk by Mr and Mrs Bear while out for lunch.

Mrs Bear said this was a false allegation and could not be proved. Bisto conceded the point but said that both Mr and Mrs Bear had a distinctly ‘Guinness’ look about them when they returned from town and furthermore although there was no evidence to suggest it that ‘bear instinct’ on these matters counted for a lot.

Mrs Bear said that we really should press on with item no 2.

2. Review of the Day

The bears had enjoyed their mountain walk but it was a bit difficult being different sizes. What Bisto could walk through easily Darwin and Winston found much more difficult being so much lower to the ground. Bisto complained of flies but soon found a bracken leaf to use to swat them away.

3. Consenus on cottage as at end of day 1:

Bisto: Very busy enjoying his Ireland scarf and lording it over the other bears so not really paying attention to the question

Winston: Everything is still WONDERFUL especially now he has a special Ireland knitted top. That was the icing on the Irish stew for him.

Darwin: Still grumbling about lack of bear facilities, red carpets, sauna, central heating and internet cafe. However he is prepared to put up with it for 2 weeks.

3. Plan of Day Two

The bears want another walk up the hillside.

Darwin wants some peace and quiet for intellectual research and reflection. He’s not having people conveniently forget his Professorial Status just because we are on holiday.

AOB

• The bears wanted to know when the Guinness would be forthcoming. Mrs Bear said they might have to wait but definitely before the end of the holiday.
• Darwin notes that 36 hours have now passed and no stripey jumper. He’s not going to make a fuss but he want it minuted that he’s counting...
• The bears note that they have not yet been to a pub. Mrs Bear said “all in good time” and Mr Bear said, “not if he could help it”.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 1st September 2003

Present: all usual bears except Mr Bear (in the shower)

1. Minutes of yesterday’s meeting:

Item 2: Consensus on cottage. Darwin claimed minutes should have read: icing on the cake” not “the Irish stew”. Winston said he was in Ireland now and whereas they might eat cake in England, in Ireland they had Irish Stew. Darwin conceded the point after giving Winston a look that clearly said: “peasant”.

2. Review of the Day
 

• Bears didn’t like Cork. Too busy and dingy and full of giggling 13 year old girls. They passed a motion (not that kind!) never to visit there again. They also said they felt out of place in urban areas in their rural Irish dress. It was therefore decided to  give the urban areas a miss with the possible exception of Dublin which might have a more cultural and bear-friendly atmosphere.

• Bears said they could have told us there would be “no food at the Inn” in Ballylooby.  Darwin said this was not a serious name for a place and therefore no-one of intellect would have paid it a visit, let alone taken it’s various, confusing and sometimes sideways, signposts seriously.  He has said he will undertake to advise Mr and Mrs Bear in future on the possibilities for evening meals depending on the place name and intellectual status. Mrs Bear said that was most generous of him. Mr Bear made a comment but it could not be heard through the bathroom door and may well only have been wind...

3. Plan of the Day

Bears excitedly planning outing to caves. Bears like caves. They want to visit and have photos taken.

4. AOB

Darwin wondered whether it was worth bringing up the subject of Guinness again as it seems they are to be denied, despite the fact that he is certain there is some here on the premises, if only he was strong enough to open the fridge door.

The bears also wanted to know when they were going to the pub. Mrs Bear is still researching a suitable bear-friendly venue.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 2nd September 2003

Present: The 3 Stooges and Mrs Bear (Mr Bear in bathroom as usual)

1. Minutes of the last meeting agreed.

2. Review of the day

• the bears want to know where the outing to the caves went to.  Mrs Bear said it went to the wall! I.e. postponed for another day. Disgruntled mutterings were generally noted by the 3 cave-loving bears.
• Bears also complained of lack of cheese in the area despite extensive searches in supermarkets, delicatessens etc.
• Bears also said they weren’t walking down into no ‘fly valleys’ in future. Flies and bears don’t mix.  However they enjoyed the woods.  The 3 glass bottles we found were actually their honey jars from yesterday when they went on a bear’s picnic.  They thought it was extremely funny that we should think they were ancient relics when in fact they were yesterday’s honey jars.

3. Plan of next day

Bears mooted to visit caves again but Mrs Bear said it may have to wait.

Bears then sulked and said if there were to be no caves and no Guinness they didn’t know why they bothered coming.

Mrs Bear responded that sulking and a bad attitude would get them nowhere.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 3rd September 2003

Present: Furry Three, Mrs B - usual watery apology from Mr Bear.

1. Minutes of meeting.

Item 2.3 - re flies. Darwin pointed out that it should have been ‘the bears weren’t walking down ANY fly valleys’ not ‘no fly valleys’. Mrs Bear however reasoned that it sounded better and the use of ungrammatical english was to make it sound suitably cross and grumpy.  Darwin retorted that he didn’t do ‘cross and grumpy’ as far as he knew and he also didn’t do bad grammar.  He wasn’t having his name connected with the minutes if there was to be any bad grammar. He has a professorial status to keep up. Winston wanted to know whose Gramma it was exactly as he hadn’t seen any old lady bears about. Darwin was not impressed.

2. Review of Day

Bears didn’t mind a day in although they would have preferred to go out exploring. Bisto enjoyed his walk and photo session - he is looking forward to the next one.

Darwin reflected that as usual, no Guinness had manifested, although he is quite sure Mr Bear was drinking some outside. However Mrs Bear replied that some progress on the Guinness front had been made and a suitable venue found for the Bear’s pub visit.  This cheered up the furry trio who were soon making plans for photo sessions and who would order what at the bar.

3. Plan of next day

Winston hopefully mentioned caves again but as usual the trip was postponed. There was muttering again , but Mrs Bear placated them by reminding them that the cave visit was only postponed not cancelled and the pub visit was in the pipeline.

4. AOB

The bears noted that while they like to spend an evening in quiet (or in Darwin’s case - ‘intellectual’) conversation, they would like to suggest that some evening entertainment is organised. For example:

• A bear sing song (songs of a furry nature only of course!)
• Guinness drinking competition (Darwin remains hopeful)
• Poetry night
• Bear Quiz night - re great bears of our time - NB Darwin considers himself one.
• Irish accent competition

Mrs Bear said that these were very good ideas and she would see what might be arranged.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 4th September 2003

Present 3 stooges and Mrs Bear.  Apologies - Mr Bear - out on run

1. Minutes of last meeting

Agreed.  Darwin remained silent this time on any finer points of Grammar.

2. Review of Day

Waterford got the bear mark of approval. They said they would definitely visit again.

Bears felt the evening was rather quiet and were disappointed that Mrs Bear had not yet arranged any activities.

3. Plan of next day

Winston still wants to go and see the caves. Mrs Bear finally agreed that the time was right. Winston wanted to know if there would be any photo opportunities at the caves and whether he needed to look his best.  Mrs Bear said there would be photo opportunities but secretly wondered whether Bisto was having too much of an influence on Winston as he has been piping up  (instead of down) a lot lately.

4. AOB

It being Friday night the bears have suggested an activity should be organised by Mrs Bear.  Mrs Bear gave them all a stern look but said she would try and arrange something but that it would be a surprise. Bears looked excited.  They like surprises.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 5th September 2003

Present: Bisto - (representing Winston and Darwin) Mr Bear (for once) and Mrs Bear

1. minutes of the previous day.

Item 2 “Waterford got the bears mark of approval”. Darwin (in absentio) wanted it pointed out that a bear mark of approval was a paw print - similar to a star rating - and as there were 3 of them a 3 bear paw print was very good.

2. Review of the day.

Winston was still full of his visit to the caves.  It was the first time he has ever had a photo shoot to his very own self. He is very excited and is now demanding more trips out, more photo shoots, and more holidays.  What have we unleashed?!

He has been telling the other bears about the caves all day. IN fact the stories have been getting more and more outrageous... such as the description of the time he got lost down a 60 foot shaft and had to find his way back using only his bear instincts and a small stump of candle.... I think he needs to get out more.

The bears also liked the impromptu singalong at bedtime,, although they would have liked the chance to get a tune in edgeways and felt Mr and Mrs Bear were hogging the stage and the electric toothbrush somewhat!

4. AOB

• Bears want another activity soon.
• Darwin wants to know when HIS outing will be and if there will be a photo shoot.
• Bears note there still hasn’t been any Guinness but trust that the pub visit will provide the deficit.  They would like it minuted that should this not materialise then there will be A Protest.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - September 6th 2003

1. Minutes of the last meeting agreed.

2. Review of the day

Bisto enjoyed his trip although he thought the Kilkenny car park was a singularly unexciting place for a 3 hour stay. However he was delighted to be the centre of attention at Kilkenny hotel (much to Mr Bear’s embarrassment who had to trail after Mrs Bear and Bisto while they found a suitable spot for a photo shoot).

3. Plan of next day

Bears to have a rest and plan next weeks outings and photos.

4. AOB

Bears would like it minuted that should the Jehova’s witnesses return, they will be happy to see them  off the premises.  Bisto will do a dance, Winston will break out into ‘Paddy McGinty’s Goat’ and if that doesn’t scare them away a lecture on philosophy from Darwin should do it.

Bears have mooted to forgo minutes tomorrow as it is a day of rest.

Minutes of the Holiday Club - 8th September 2003

Mr and Mrs Bear not present but Darwin gave his notes to Mrs Bear to write up. As Mrs Bear didn’t have time for 8 pages she has summarized thus:

• Bears enjoyed watching Celebrity Farm on Irish television - they want to set up their own version.   Darwin suggested being locked in an enormous vat of Guinness and this led to point no 2:
• Bears want to know when pub visit is. 
• Darwin is looking forward to his visit to the cultural heart of Ireland. He knows they will welcome a bear of his intellectual status.
• Winston is enjoying his new wave of popularity. He thinks that now he might even be in with a chance of not being voted out of the Bear House on the first night. However if it is anything like the Irish system he is likely to be the last left in as everyone votes for their favourite person instead of the one they want to leave. (The Irish obviously find this voting lark rather tricky...)

Minutes of the Holiday Club

1. Minutes of the last meeting.  Darwin was very miffed that Mrs Bear did not copy out his 8 pages of careful notes from the meeting , but presumes perhaps that she did not understand some of the terminology, only being a bear educated to degree level and not to his own elevated Professorial status. Mrs Bear wisely made no comment.

2. Review of the day

Darwin’s long awaited outing was a success - he loved the Guinness Factory trip and being taken around Dublin. (Mrs Bear would like it minuted that another time Mr Bear could carry him in HIS rucksack as small bears with large brains can weigh quite heavy!) Not much more has been said on the subject of Darwin’s trip just yet as he explained to Bisto that his cognitive processes were still going and he needed time to absorb and reflect.  Bisto made no response as he was unsure what cognitive processes were, and whether you could eat them.

3.Plan of next day

The bears are planning a quiet day in tomorrow with a pub visit planned for the evening. They are very excited about this but slightly concerned that it may not yet take off due to lack of commitment in certain areas (Mr Bear). Plus, they are also a little intrigued as to why Darwin smells of Guinness.

Upon retiring, Bisto asked why it was that Darwin had come back from Dublin with a strong smell of Guinness about him.  He was placated somewhat by being told by Darwin that it was all due to his tour round the Guinness Factory and that his fur must have become impregnated by the smell. Shortly after this, Bisto fell asleep. Winston, however, with his personality growing bigger every minute, raised a quizzical eyebrow, which Darwin pretended not to notice.

4. AOB

Darwin thought Bisto had a point to raise but it was just a snore and since he had had too much Guinness himself and Winston also looked on the point of collapse, any other business was concluded without reaching any conclusions.

Minutes of the Holiday Club -  11th September 2003

None.

Bears all passed out with drink after pub visit. Half a pint is a lot when you’re that size.

As no minutes of the last day Mr and Mrs Bear have inserted the last entry in their diary as the final word...

12th September

Our last walk up Bear Mountain: We decided to see how far we could get along the loggers road. The new Fit Mrs Bear was able to make it up the first leg of the hill without stopping once, whereas on the first trip and Mr Bear practically had to carry her up the hill himself (that and much coaxing with chocolate rations!)

We walked as far as the stream (furthest we’d been so far) and carried on through a military firing zone (Mrs Bear was VERY worried about getting shot and fretted all the way). After 1 & 3/4 hrs Mrs Bears legs were starting to protest and we headed for home. After packing the car we ate supper at the saintly time of 7.35 (a world record!). Then feeling in need of some intellectual stimulus, we surfed the channels to find Celebrity Farm which proved an entertaining end to the evening.

I forgot to mention that the bears, mindful that it was their last evening, demanded an activity, so we organised an Irish Storytelling evening. Then Mr Bear demanded Ghost stories, and the tales got wilder and woollier than ever. I won’t detail them here, but safe to say they were all completely gaga and made a good ending to the holiday.