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My Friend Alan - One Hundred Good Things about Him
(Well that was the aim but I could only think of 11!)
First, Alan taught me how to think! Before then I just mumbled and dribbled down my chin!
Second, Alan also taught me how to write. Before then I wrote for the tabloids! Now I regularly ‘which hunt’, use punctuation like the ‘Cambridge comma’ and regularly read Strunk and White! Although still a bit confused about use of data and datum!
Third, Alan is bonkers but all the people I know, want to know, and admire are also bonkers. The rest of them wish they were, but wouldn’t dream of admitting it!
Alan can also be very rude and argumentative. I have noticed, however, that he is only rude and argumentative with people he has time for and likes. I guess that might include me - as he is pretty darn rude at times!!
Dear Alan is very creative. He is in fact a creator (no, not The Creator). Everything from ideas, food, writing, art, music (although he has strange taste) to dialogue. In fact, he is, I suspect a little tortured by all these creative thoughts, in a desire to achieve more and more in his search for the truth about everything.
Because Alan is so creative, he is an inspiration to me and others. His endless flows of innovation can only be admired as they are liberally mixed with generous bouts of acerbic wit and humour.
On the downside, Alan is a bit obsessed with strange things that no-one else understands. Like mathematics and the Apple Macintosh (when will he get a real computer?!).
On the subject of mathematics, this seems to be his second love (we all know the first and it’s not pickle). If it doesn’t contain math, or can’t be explained by math, then it may well not exist. Incomprehensible symbols and strange numbers mixed with a desire for various sub and superscript figures seem to be the order of the day. What does it all mean? Well, it may mean the workings of a highly logical and rational mind. But there again, Alan is as mad as a hatter (getting my own back on the insults now, he’s not here to argue!). But, and this is the wonder of Alan, like the beautiful person he is, he has a beautiful and enquiring mind.
Alan is, although he would not admit it, and on no account must he ever be told, a dear, warm, loving man! Despite all his faults (and believe me, there are tons of them that I would take great pleasure in debating), Alan cares deeply about his family, friends and all those around him.
Finally, Alan is someone I am extremely privileged to call my friend; although he often has a rather more derogative term for the relationship!
Alan, there are not enough words to describe my respect for you and how grateful I am to be counted as your friend - Thank you.
Much Madness is divinest Sense - To a discerning Eye... - Emily Dickenson, Number 435
Yet I still dwell In a strange land Beholding your life, Possessing your hand.
- E.B.White, “Of things That Are”, New York World, 20 August 1928
(Bob’s contribution to the Tribute book compiled by Ian for Alan’s 74th birthday)
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